Let’s Talk About Blowjobs

November 16, 2014 11:14 pm29 comments
Photo: Flickr Creative Commons -- Tania Saiz

Photo: Flickr Creative Commons — Tania Saiz

“Never have I ever had a penis in my mouth.”

Silence.

I lift my cup to my lips and drink.  A mixture of “ohhhs” and “ewwws” and “I would never do that” erupt from the six girls I am drinking with. I blush a bit but shrug it off. Yet, their comments resonated with me and led to me writing this article in the hopes that it will open up discussion about the taboo topic of blowjobs.

First and foremost, the major issue when it comes to blowjobs is the lack of information and discussion around the topic. I remember with my first boyfriend, when I was thinking that I would probably end up going down on him soon, I was Googling “How to give blowjobs” like crazy. I asked my best friend for tips based off her own experience. Despite this preparation, when it actually happened I was terrified. I had a billion thoughts racing through my mind. Was I doing it right? Was I doing it wrong? Is this what a dick looks like up close?

What I have come to realize is if someone had just talked to me about giving head in an honest and straightforward way, I would have been so much less stressed about it. While those articles helped, they had one fatal quality: they talked about how to please only the man.

Well, isn’t that the point?

Yes and no. Like any sexual relationship, the sexual encounter should be pleasurable for both parties. And in the right situation, giving head can be. A lot of the negative feelings that come from giving head steam from the idea that you have to be amazing at it. You don’t. I rarely give my boyfriend head and when I do it’s because I want to do it. He’s never asked me to give him head and if he did, I would probably flip out. At the same time, a lot of the people I know who have negative experiences with giving blowjobs have said that they were pressured into it. You should never have to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.

Now, with all the serious and heavy information out of the way, let’s get to the fun part. Just how do I give a guy a blowjob? This isn’t going to be as simple as a step-by-step instruction; rather, here are just some fun tips to help you feel more comfortable when you head down south.

First, you should probably get familiar with the penis. It depends a bit if the guy is circumcised or not. If he is, then he will have a lot of wonderful sensitive nerves at the very tip of his penis. If he is not circumcised, his shaft will have all of these nerves.

Then, of course, you have the balls. Many people I have talked to hate the idea of doing anything with the balls during oral sex. Personally, I don’t really mind, but it did take me a while to venture down there. But again, if you don’t want to go there, don’t. If you don’t mind, basically anything you do will feel great. Touching, kissing, sucking, licking, etc. But no biting!

One key is to make sure when you start you have a lot of spit. This sounds really gross, but it’s true. Someone once told me that giving head is only a little bit about your mouth and a lot about your hand. So basically combine a blowjob with a handjob. My biggest worry when it came to the oral part was what should I do with my mouth. Basically, just move in an up and down motion. Sometimes I do circles with my tongue.

So that’s the basic overview of giving head, but there’s always some fun creative things you can do to spice it up. If you hum while you move your mouth the vibrations feel really good for the guy. I tried this with my boyfriend, but I felt way to awkward just humming.

Not really that creative, but my friend told me about the magic triangle for circumcised guys. The triangle is if you look at the penis there is the tip and then the shaft. The triangle is right underneath the tip. If you lick and suck around there it feels amazing.

Also, focus on the very tip. Licking that area is incredibly sensitive. Another very sensitive area is the underside of the penis and the underside of the balls. Again, if you don’t want to go down there, you don’t have to. But if you do, lick the seam like line along the balls. My boyfriend goes crazy!

Most of those who I’ve talked to about giving head really hate the thought of swallowing. There is no pressure to swallow. I personally have always swallowed and have no issue with it. But I know girls who spit. Some do it in private, like going to the bathroom, and some will just spit into a tissue or trash. The other option is to just ask him to not finish in your mouth. That way, before he cums, he can tell you and finish on himself or in a tissue.

I hope I helped to relieve any worries about giving head. Remember, it should always be an enjoyable experience for you and your partner. Take your time, explore each other, and if at any point you change your mind and want to stop, you can. So, when you’re ready, go down yelling timber!

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